How to Create the Life you want

What if creating the life you want starts with changing the channel in your own mind? In this episode of Beautiful Chaos, Tammy and Staci talk about mindset, self-talk, emotional patterns, and how shifting your thoughts can help you create a healthier, happier, more intentional life.

✨ Topics include:
 • Mindset shifts
 • Negative self-talk
 • Manifestation
 • Emotional awareness
 • Creating new habits & beliefs

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#BeautifulChaosPodcast #ChangeTheChannel #MindsetShift #ManifestYourFuture #PersonalGrowth

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Have you ever noticed how you can walk into the exact same situation on two different days and feel completely different about it? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 0:13

One day you feel confident, calm, and in control, and then the next day it's like anxiety and doubt and just overthinking takes over. Yeah, it's the same life, but a different experience. Yeah, and the truth is it's not your life that changed, it's the channel that you're tuned into. It's your mindset.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

Yes. So I want you to picture this. Your mindset is like a radio in your car, and you have some preset stations. And I don't know about you, but I have like a couple different country stations. I have um I have Sirius, and so I have some um oldies channels, like all this different music. Mine's the same. And so, you know, we're we and we walk in there and do well, get in your car and think about the station you're on. No. I don't ever remember where I left it. No. You just get in and you just start listening to what you're what you're doing. And I think that's that is what is happening in our lives when we have those. Why do I have this experience like completely different? Different. Right. Yeah. Absolutely. It's the channel you were tuned into that you didn't even know you were tuned into.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

Yep. It's a beautiful chaos. It's a beautiful chaos. Sometimes sometimes this beautiful chaos.

SPEAKER_01 1:51

Welcome to Beautiful Chaos. I'm Tammy Ramsey. And I'm Stacey Miller. And today's episode is How to Create the Life You Want and Change the Channel. Yeah. So uh I was listening to some other uh podcast actually. So this is what kind of geared me and made me think of this. Um and and I want you to know, we were talking earlier off camera about the difference between like energies and and God, and and you can actually have those are both tied together 100%. I remember telling somebody I was doing mindset work. I was doing a um speaking engagement that was um about mindset. And this person told me, oh, that's bad stuff, that's like you know, bad voodoo. You can't, if you believe in God, you can't believe in mindset. And I'm like, I think there's a miscommunication because mindset is really just the settings in your mind. Right. What what are you like with the radio station? What station are you tuned to? Are you tuned to negative?

SPEAKER_02 2:56

Well, it's honestly the same as saying, like, you shouldn't have goals, because there's nowhere in the Bible where it talks about having goals or whatever. It it used to be a long time ago that people would say you either believe in science or you believe in religion, but you can't believe in both, which is wholeheartedly untrue. Many scientists have actually come to God in order because they were in a process of like disproving God, and then in that process of scientifically trying to disprove God, they went, uh, we get to a sp spot where we can't explain it anymore, and then all of a sudden we realize that God clearly exists, but we can't have science without God. God created our bone structure and the way that our blood flows and all of these neat things that make us very unique, or he created the atmosphere and the trees and the, you know, Genesis. So we know that God created all of these things. And so please know that when we're talking about things like mindset and maybe there may be a new agey type term, frequencies and things like that. We are all saying this with the idea that um God is the underlying of all of these things, and that he is still the one guiding us, and it'll be interwoven throughout this conversation.

SPEAKER_01 4:07

It will. And and what this is is like he's the he's the main layer, and and so many of us forget, you know, I forget to pray when I'm having issues. Yeah, I struggle with something, and then and it could be days that I'm like really just in a bad space in my head with mulling over whatever. And then I go, Oh, why didn't I go to God and pray and have him help me through this situation? So I think that you know, he's always at the base and he's waiting for us to to figure out that we need him, right? And then our brains, though, because like the last episode, who are we listening to? Who's the narrator? Right, what station are you tuned to? Right.

SPEAKER_02 4:53

You know, is it are you listening to your parents, your family, uh, your Bible, your friends, some other we are teaching something you've heard from a podcast that's coming from everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 5:05

Yeah, yeah. And and sometimes things that are going on in our mind are things that are from trauma in our lives at some point. So there are moments in our lives that shape how we see the world, even if we don't realize it at the time. And I think that especially when things happen at a young age, sometimes we don't even remember it, but our body remembers it.

SPEAKER_02 5:28

Um, and especially when it's something big or painful or confusing, but we will still experience that somehow through our pain instead of maybe through our mindset.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

Right. And we create the meaning around those incidences. Right. Just like you can have two kids in the same household, and um, you can think that you're providing as a parent the best for your children that you can do. Right. And then you have out of those kids, one thinks their childhood was crappy, and the other one thinks their childhood was great. And you as a parent feel like I created these ideas.

SPEAKER_02 6:10

And I definitely parented exactly the same with both kids, which we don't do that either. Yeah. You know, we we might think that we do, but our kids are also pre-programmed with personalities and you know, different ways that they want to live their life. And so, yeah, two kids will grow up in the same house with two completely different experiences.

SPEAKER_01 6:29

Yeah. And it's formed on, you know, things that happened to that child. Like, you know, maybe there's an an injury that was sustained, or maybe it's something that's going on at school with the people that they're exposed to. They're finding people aren't safe.

SPEAKER_02 6:44

Right. Or they start believing that they're not enough about their situation.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

Right. They can't trust whatever's going on.

SPEAKER_02 6:51

Or we'll put walls up and decide that we need to protect ourselves from different situations or people.

SPEAKER_01 6:56

Yeah. So then those become in our brain like preset stations, those beliefs that we create around things that happen in our life.

SPEAKER_02 7:07

Right. But much like our last podcast, so we're just we're changing some of the wording, but this concept is the same and we're definitely diving deeper. But years later, you might be in a completely different situation, but you're still tuned into that old channel, and maybe it's set off by something specific, or maybe it's just something that you default to in certain situations.

SPEAKER_01 7:25

Yeah, and a lot of the times we don't even know because we're not questioning it, we just think whatever pops into our head and we just believe it. Right. And we just assume it's true, right? And then, but there's something that we want you guys to hear. Just because a thought shows up doesn't mean it's true. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 7:47

Yeah, it just means that it's something familiar or something that like the rut, you know? Yes. Tammy create taught me this a long time ago. But when you're trying to memorize something or you're trying to create a new habit, you're trying to create a new skill, it's like a dog creating a rut in the fence line when they're running a fence line. And so you you have that like repetitiveness. So you can do that same thing with the negativity. If you're always focusing on the negative and things, you create like a permanent indent in your brain of go straight to that negativity. Yes. So we're gonna rewire that. We're gonna try and make that rut a positive thing.

SPEAKER_01 8:21

Yes, and it can be done. Absolutely, yes. So, what do we do if we want to create a different life?

SPEAKER_02 8:28

Well, we start with being aware of where we're at in our life and where we're putting our energy and where that's all at.

SPEAKER_01 8:34

And we start questioning ourselves when we're in situations or when those thoughts come up, and you have to say, Well, what channel am I on now? Right.

SPEAKER_02 8:43

Is this fear talking or insecurity, or is it confidence or love? Because hopefully we're leaning more towards the latter, or eventually getting ourselves to where we can.

SPEAKER_01 8:53

Yeah. And a lot of it is um, oh, there's a there's a book, another book. It's by Kim Fisk, and it's called Monster, the Monster Under the Bed. And she talks about that um in part of it, she actually does talk about the monster under the bed. There's constantly a monster under your under bed in your mind. Yeah, and you don't even realize that it's there half the time, but it's there, and it's this underlying thinking. But she gave this great description of it in a car, you're riding down the road, and your monster in the backseat that's negative says, um, you know, whatever, you can't drive. You're a terrible driver.

SPEAKER_03 9:31

Right.

SPEAKER_01 9:32

And you have to go, I'm gonna turn this station now. And you know what? You get in the backseat, stay back there, and don't backseat drive because I'm driving and I'm confident with what I'm doing. Right. So understand yourself and understanding your personality is a well, it was a great help to me. I started out with the color code, I liked it because it was simple. And once you understand that pretty much you have um ext what am I? Thank you. Uh extrovert, no? Extrovert. Extrovert, yes. Got it. Okay. And I'm an introverted extrovert. Yeah, and I'm just totally extrovert. So I think that you know, there's uh lots of things that are that are with each of our personalities that we will have some similarities, but there's a lot of our own things, a lot of our own strengths and our own weaknesses. And I think for me, it was nice to see all the good things, okay. High energy, creative, and it was really good for me to see that I am scatterbrained, yeah, I am disorganized, that is just part of my personality. Do I have to accept it? No, I can create a strength out of it. I can start making lists and try to be, you know.

SPEAKER_02 11:00

And just to be clear, I think that we label these things in a hundred different ways, right? Yeah. So you read about the color code system that color codes your personality, and you said, I am all of these things, and this sounds accurate. Now let me build some strengths out of these weaknesses. Right. Some people will read a horoscope and do the same thing because as an Aries, I'm a fire sign. I definitely live in that, and I know that I am can be fiery and I can get, you know, kind of uh worked up pretty easily about certain situations. And I know that there's a lot of things that are very true about what my horoscope says uh my personality type should be. But then you also can read the five love languages, yes, and you can say this person has their love language is this, and I and my love language is this, so I need to give this love to this person and I want to receive this love this way. But in the end, we're all talking about the same kind of things, which is just identifying where your personality lies and what your strengths and weaknesses are, because you can't fundamentally change the core of who you are, right? But you can modify, like she's saying, modify, well, I'm scatterbrained and now I'm aware of that, and I know that that's a personality trait that I pres possess, so I'm gonna do better about making lists and organizing and structuring my day differently.

SPEAKER_03 12:22

Right.

SPEAKER_02 12:22

And so, but in the end, we're all saying the same things, we just label them differently.

SPEAKER_01 12:28

Yeah, there's truth to that. And what what we need to focus on is what do I want to create in my life and and understand that I'm wired a certain way. I've created ruts in my brain based on my um upbringing, my exposure to people that I went to school with, whatever. Um, whatever has formed you as a person. Right. So you can get rid of the ruts by creating new paths. Absolutely. And you do that by creating better habits, like you're saying, like like we're talking about like making a list or like taking those weaknesses that you feel are weaknesses and trying to build them in a better way.

SPEAKER_02 13:25

Right. And so if we tie it back to the title of the episode, we're talking about manifestation. And manifestation is a big scary word that I think that people attach to a lot of different things. And so it might be really, really a positive word for some people to hear, and other people might hear that and go, Whoa, that's it's kind of weird, like voodoo stuff, right? But if we think about what manifestation really is, is it's it's visualizing your goals. Yes. So it's creating um vision board. Because if you create a vision board and you say, by the end of the year, I want to have this house or this job or this vacation. Well, I think vacation is actually the best example. Because if I put up on a wall that I want to go to Disneyland within a year, then I'm always gonna think about that. I have a goal to go to Disney, I have a goal to go to Disney. I and then I'm gonna be working towards that goal, and then I'm gonna be thinking about it all the time, and then I'm gonna put money towards it, and then I'm gonna put deposits towards it, and and you do because you're aware of it constantly. If it's way back in the back of your mind, well, someday I'd like to go to Disney, you're never gonna go. But if you if you manifest it, meaning you've put it into the universe, you've put it into the forefront of your mind. Now it's something you think about all the time, you've changed your background on your phone or a picture of Disney, whatever it is, right? But you're constantly bringing it to the forefront, then it's it is what your focus is. Where your focus is, is where your energy goes, or whatever that focuses.

SPEAKER_01 14:57

That's that's it.

SPEAKER_02 14:58

Yeah, perfect. And so it's that same idea that we're we're manifesting these positive things in our life because we're just constantly thinking about them, making them goals. I can't graduate from college if I didn't start thinking about it, manifest that, continue to think about it to the point where I made a phone call and then made another phone call and then filled out a paper, and then filled out another paper, and then eventually had financial aid, and then eventually was registered for classes, and then bam, I'm a student, and then it was just easy to just keep going. But it it is its own form of manifestation as well. So I just think we all need to be very open to what we're really saying about manifestation.

SPEAKER_01 15:39

Yeah. And you can so I'm doing this thing where I I've got a journal and I write in my journal every day. This is day four. No, day three, sorry, just started. Well, it's very fresh. Very new. So I've always worked on, I've always done the three things that you're grateful for. I wake up first thing in the morning and I'm like, these are the three things I'm grateful for, and I prayed for, you know, and thank God for everything. And then um I sort of manifest what I'm day, what kind of day I'm gonna have. But I never wrote it down before. So now I'm writing it down. So I'm writing down in this journal three things that I'm grateful for first thing in the morning, and then I give two confirmation. No, what is it? Affirmations. Well, it's how my intentions. I do two intentions for the day.

SPEAKER_03 16:29

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

Um, and it's usually like one that's personal to me, and then one towards the world. Like how I want to be like, I'm hanging out with Stacey today, shooting podcasts. So my intention is to be upbeat, to be loving and kind and enjoy our time together. Like that's and then and then at the bottom I go, and I'm going to be, I am a sus I do my c my affirmations. I am a successful author. 1.5 million in book sales. I am a successful podcaster. Stacy and I are making 1.5 million. That's my that's what I'm saying. 1.5 is good. It's a you know, because it's a number three. I'm not trying to be too greedy. Yeah, I don't know. But so I'm manifesting. That's my form of manifesting. What so then you can take it a step further, though. Now we've put it out in the universe. You've i you take it, you write it down, because I'm sure, like you're saying, you you'd create a vision board. Yeah, and you make these things, and it is amazing if you do a vision board. All the things that you put on there, if you look back in a year or two years, you look back and you're like, Yep, did that, did that, did that, did that. And it's like, I didn't even I put it down, I thought about it, but then it was it was out of my mind, and these things happened, but it wasn't.

SPEAKER_02 17:48

You didn't realize it wasn't out of your mind, but it but it was. It was yeah, it was definitely still on the forefront because you put so much effort into five deciding what those goals were gonna be, cutting out those pictures, getting them on there, making this effort, and so it does put it into your forefront.

SPEAKER_01 18:03

Yeah, and you're continually thinking about it. So the other thing they say is if it's something that you're really trying to create in your life, then you can also visualize yourself uh in like for me, it was, and I don't know why this came up, but you and I, you know how you get off an airplane, we're waving here we go to paparazzi. We're waving to all our fans. Yeah, I don't know. And we're in summer attire, so we're somewhere nice and warm.

SPEAKER_02 18:38

I hope we're getting off the plane in Hawaii that we're waving to all the beautiful women who are ready to put like a football.

SPEAKER_01 18:44

Oh, yes, we can do that. Let's manifest that. But but seriously, if you if you and then you think to yourself, how do I feel standing there with my best friend? We are successful at what we're doing. How does that feel? And I feel so full of love and excitement. So that's gonna talk about it.

SPEAKER_02 19:07

Well, and we take it down a little bit to something different, I guess. I don't know if it's necessarily down a notch or not, but uh one thing that I've done in the past is I am I am skinny. Yes. I'm gonna eat like I'm skinny and I'm going to um do the things that skinny people do. And I'm using skinny, I mean, I know that there's some nitistic connotations to that word, but like a healthy weight. But for me, it was easy to say in my head, like I'm already skinny and I'm eating like a skinny person, and I'm I'm working out like a skinny person, and I'm making the choices that a skinny person would make, because if you're doing that every single day, then eventually your mind will catch up or your body will catch up to your mind, and you will be doing those things. Yeah, if you do the same thing and you say, I'm I'm a I'm a really kind person and I do nice things and I want to be calm and kind in these situations, and you're saying that all the time, then you're gonna start reacting calmer to other things. But if you negative talk, and for those of us who know, because we've all been there, and you say, Well, I'm just already overweight, might as well eat the donut, or I'm already overweight, might as well not go to the gym again today, or um, gosh, I'm such a brat and I'm always mean to people, or I always say the wrong thing. Might as well just go ahead and say the wrong thing, and you will continue to be overweight, unhealthy, and all these things that you constantly are feeding into your narrative all day long.

SPEAKER_01 20:38

Yeah, 100%. And that one thing that I have worked on is because remember we did the episode where it says, Don't say I go to the gym, say I am an athlete. Yeah. So I I like that that we're gym wrecked. Yes. I'm not that's a good thing. I'm not learning to I'm not learning to play the guitar. I'm a guitarist. Right. Like already seeing yourself. I'm an author. Uh we're podcasters. Well, we really are, but we're successful podcasters. We're doing the work. We're doing the work hard. Hey, and by the way, we have these cute mugs. Oh, where'd your mug go? I finished my coffee and I set it down. I'm sorry. She did. So we have these beautiful chaos looking at has like, you know, the sound. Our cute little caricature. Yes. So we will be giving these away if you would like to like, share an episode with a friend, comment. We will put you into a drawing. And at the end of every month, we're gonna start drawing a uh name out of the hat and give away a mug. We'll probably draw your name right out of the mug, actually. Oh fun. That's a really fun way to do it. So, um, anyway, so training your brain. Let's go back to this is training your brain. We're manifesting manifesting our future, our what how we want our life to be. Right. And that is a way of training your brain by training. Just visualizing it, becoming it, having those feelings. You're going to create those paths. And what do you do when the negative dog running on the fence has already got a rut going on? What do you do? You just quiet that dog down. Calm down. Just calm down. I don't have to be in that rut anymore. I don't have to be on that path. Right. I don't have to hear those negative voices. I can change the channel.

SPEAKER_02 22:27

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 22:27

And I can choose to reset my presets. Yes, I like that. And set your presets. And before we go on, we'll take a minute and give a shout out to our sponsors. This episode of Beautiful Chaos is sponsored by Sarah Nova. I've been using their micro needling infusion anti-aging kit for about six weeks now. And honestly, while editing our podcast videos, I've noticed my skin looking healthier, smoother, and some of my fine lines are definitely softening. And those saddle bags along my jawline that were starting to form have started to tighten up. What I love most about Serranova is that it's simple to use. You can use it at home. It's non-evasive, and Serenova even offers a refund policy, which makes trying it a little less intimidating. So if you want to check it out yourself, you can use my code at seranova.com backslash Tammy all capitals T-A-M-M-Y 01873.

SPEAKER_02 23:31

Welcome back. Thank you for listening, and we're so appreciative to our sponsor.

SPEAKER_01 23:36

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 23:37

And now getting back to where you were.

SPEAKER_01 23:39

Yep, we are talking about resetting your presets because we do get to choose our channels just like in a radio station. Right. Or your stereo, I mean. Right. You know, you might not get to choose, maybe you don't get to choose what car you're driving because your parents brought it for you way back when. Right. And you haven't been able to afford a car. But you have a radio in your car. Yep. So you can choose what stations that you listen to. And if there are presets on there, you can reset those channels to what you choose. And that's the same way with our brains and with our life.

SPEAKER_03 24:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:18

Just because we had a crappy childhood, because no child comes through childhood unscathed. No, we all mess up. We all have our parents did the best they could do with the information they had.

SPEAKER_02 24:32

We did the best we could with the information that we had, and hopefully we did a little bit better than they did.

unknown 24:38

Right.

SPEAKER_02 24:38

And then I can't wait to see when our kids could well, you are already seeing it, but when I get to see my kids be better parents than I was, because they will inevitably do better than I did. Yes. And all and then they will mess their kids up too, just like we all did. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 24:54

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 24:55

That's how it goes.

SPEAKER_01 24:57

So some things that we can do to help change those are to think about what you want your life to feel like. Because I don't think it's about, sure, you can visualize, you can manifest and say, Well, I want to drive a Porsche. I want to live in a big fancy house. But for me, and I think for you, it's not about materialistic things. It's about, like, I'm always thinking, what does God want me to do? Yeah. Where does God want me to be at this time? I always say a prayer before we do podcasts, before I write a podcast, and say, Hey, what is it that you want me to say? Right. What speak through me and help Stacey and I to provide information that helps someone else become the best version of themselves. Right. So how do we do that and what do we do? It's all about practice and it's not gonna be perfect. Right. Right? Absolutely. Like whatever.

SPEAKER_02 25:51

Life's messy. You know, I I think I find a hundred different ways to bring this silly quote into a podcast on any given time. But there is so much truth to it. I don't play the lottery. Let me be really clear. I never play the lottery, but you have people who will always say, Oh, I wish I could win the lottery. Oh, I wish I could win a million dollars. Well, you can't win if you don't play, right? And it's that same, it's the same thing when it comes to this. If you really want a new job, you can't get a new job if you don't apply for new jobs, if you're not out actively seeking new jobs or improving your resume somehow in order to make yourself qualified for that job.

SPEAKER_01 26:27

Yeah, like going to get more education, more training so that you're more qualified. Right.

SPEAKER_02 26:32

Or I want, like, I'm single, but I really want a great boyfriend. You're not gonna get a great boyfriend if you're not putting yourself out there somehow.

SPEAKER_01 26:39

Or you're not a great person.

SPEAKER_02 26:40

So you're not your healthiest best self. You you're not you can't attract great if you're not putting out great already. And so it's just it's just that same idea. And so when when when we tie it back to manifesting, you can't manifest or like wish for success if you're not doing anything every day to be successful, right? Like we can't be successful podcasters if we never would have started a podcast. Right. And so now we're just waiting for the successful part to come in. But in the meantime, we're just gonna keep plugging out the work or or like you work on your book all the time. Yeah. And so you can't be a successful author if you didn't have anything already written. But one day you will be a successful author because you're putting in the work now and it's gonna go out at some point. And so whatever that is idea is or that goal is that you have for yourself, remember that you can't just go, I'm manifesting success, and then not do anything to try and make success happen. Yeah, it's on when it's but but the idea of manifestation is that let's say this is success, this item that I'm holding, and I say, I I say I want to manifest success, and then I put it way over here where I'm never gonna see it again. Well, then I'm never gonna find success. But if I put it right here and it's what I see all day, and it's what I have to see through to get to the next thing and what I'm looking at, first thing when I wake up, that's a visualization of what manifestation is.

SPEAKER_01 28:06

Yes, that was a really good one. No, yeah, that totally made it very clear. Well, that's why, like they say, um, well, when I was health coaching, would say, put your goals where where you want to be, not even your goal. You're you're like your I ams. I am a healthy person, I am, you know, whatever your goal is, you stick that on your mirror on a sticky note so you see it every morning, right? So that you can work towards becoming it. And I also want to say, if you're praying, because praying is a way of manifesting, because you're praying and you're asking God to help you to make this thing happen, but God helps those who help themselves.

SPEAKER_02 28:48

Yeah. So you have to just make those steps and put that opportunity in front of you. But if you don't take that opportunity, right? Like he'll put the door in front of you, you have to open the door.

SPEAKER_01 28:59

What's the one about the um the uh flood comes and a guy's standing on his house and he prays to God and says, Oh, please send me some help, get me out of here. And um a girl comes, floats by on a tree limb, and and and he and she says, Here, jump on, jump on. Nope, nope, nope, I'm I'm waiting for God to help me. Yeah, and then next there's a guy in a boat in the rescue team, and nope, nope, I'm waiting for God to help me, and then a helicopter comes. I mean, like, dude, and then he drowns.

SPEAKER_02 29:32

I was gonna say, and then I think he drowns and comes to God. Did you why did you help me? And he goes, Like, I sent you a girl on a tree limb, I sent you a boat, I sent you a helicopter, you wouldn't take any of it. Yeah, I mean, it's almost like that. But we're all guilty of that. But like I said, God will put the door in front of you, you have to open it. And maybe you even have to find the key to open it. Yeah, right? Like that's that's where it's it comes with God's gonna give you the new job, but if you didn't give yourself the skills to be successful at that job by going to school or learning a new training or learning a new skill, like that's the key, right? So if you don't go get the key, you're never gonna get the door open. But God gave you the door, yeah. So you just gotta figure out how to open it.

SPEAKER_01 30:12

Yeah, exactly. So that's so I want you to know. So the book I'm writing is titled Why Not Me? And one of the stories that I talk about is I was working at a credit union and uh I made a loan for this gal, and she was fabulous. We hit it off, and she sends me a single rosebud the next day and says, This bud's for you, and we have an opening I'd love to interview. So I'm like, oh, and it's for Idaho 8 television station. Uh and I'm like, I've got no, I don't know anything about this position. I'm I don't have any sales. I've been around this hill side. Right. I'm doing all the negative talk. Right. I'm like, I'm a loan officer, but then I was like, but you know what? Why not me? Yeah why not just go and try? Obviously, she sees something, so why not? So I I go and I end up getting the job. And even after a an interviewer, um, I interviewed with her boss, who was like six foot two, shoulders this wide, he was dressed in a in a western shirt and his big old cowboy boots.

SPEAKER_03 31:21

So he was dressed up.

SPEAKER_01 31:22

Yes, and he towers over me and shakes my hand, and and I could tell he's puffing his chest out, and you know, and I'm just like, I'm like, I'm just gonna be me because I can take it or leave it. I'm like, hi, yeah, exactly. Like, I don't care. And he goes and sits down in the chair, throws his feet up on the desk, perfect, puts his arms back like this, and he's asking me these questions, and I'm just like, yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, oh yeah, and I could do that. Oh, I love people, I'm a people person. Yeah, like I and you know, and after that, when he hired me, he goes, you know, I did you know I wasn't trying to intimidate you? And I went, yeah, but that's not gonna change me and how I behave. Absolutely. So that was, you know, that's a that's I just thought that was a fun story. I believed in myself, right, and I knew that I was educatable. Is that a story? Is that a word? It is right now. It is right now, but yeah, I knew that I could learn whatever it is they were going to teach me, and I was willing to learn it.

SPEAKER_02 32:24

But if I'd have never gone to that interview, I used to be so scared to interview because I thought I needed to study all these like things they'd put online about how you properly answer an interview question, how you say what your strengths and weaknesses are, what's that you always wear your telling you where your seatbelt, or you always have to have a follow-up question. Like I remember I used to read all the rules, and I would be like, I would study and I would practice and I would practice it, I would study, and I would get so mad because my ex-husband, he was so good at interviewing, he was like, I don't know, I just went in and talked about myself. And I'm like, Do you didn't you didn't study the questions? And what did you did you find out? Do what did you say about this question and that question? And then they ask you this really weird one people have been asking these days. He's like, Yeah, and I just answered it, and I I used to get so frustrated. And then the older I got, the more confidence I built in myself. And when I started to be able to go to interviews like that, and I was just bringing me to the table, and I was just being honest and confident, authentic, and yeah, authentically myself. It was so it was not only easier to get a job, but it was easier to walk out knowing I did well on the interview because it wasn't I wasn't keeping score in my head of they asked me the one question and I answered it just like the internet told me to, or just like that resume writing class told me to answer it. It was, oh, we had a great conversation because at the end of the day, when you land that job, they're not hiring the girl you put in that interview, they're hiring you. So hopefully you came in authentic and yourself, and that's probably why you got the job is they were looking. She knew you, you you didn't know you were interviewing with her when you were trying to talk to her about getting a loan. No, but you were interviewing then, yeah, and she learned your personality enough to say you're the right person, and you brought that same person into the interview, and that's why you got it.

SPEAKER_01 34:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:09

So yeah, always remember that for interviews. Be authentically yourself because if they hire the fake version of you that you give them, you're gonna have to be fake. And that's exhausting.

SPEAKER_01 34:21

That is way exhausting. Always be yourself, faults and all. And and it and also to uh you can you can understand that we all have yeah faults, but again, this you know, you can create what you want with your own life, right? And you you just need to have your mindset to the correct channel, right?

SPEAKER_02 34:41

And remember that you are not your past. There is so much that you've learned and grown from. I think when you have a milestone birthday and you, you know, you turn 20, you turn 30, you turn 40, you turn 50, those are always really great times to remember that you earned those years. You earned those gray hairs, you earned those wrinkles, you earned all of these things because you have a past. And all of those lessons from your past has made you the better person that you are today. So you're not defined by your past. You grew through that and you learned lessons from that to make you the better person that you are today.

SPEAKER_01 35:16

I love that. And then remember that you're also the one that's holding the dial. Yeah, you control which station that you're going to be listening to. So if you don't like what you're hearing, change the channel. Absolutely. So thank you for joining us today. Again, you know, like, share, all the things. Yeah, like, share, comment, and mark.

SPEAKER_02 35:42

You could win our cool cup, and yeah, we'll talk about how great you are for listening to us on a future episode. And until then, stay empowered.